So boring!

I'm sick of this boring life,sick of what I am.
I want to be different...I'm sick of being this friendly,feeling-hiding kid and so on.I want to stop this,I want to be hateful,I want to tell everyone when I dislike something,I want to be silent,I want to stop arguing with stupid people.I want to hide my true self behind a silence.And I will.
I am tired of shits like joking laughing and so on.I'm not an entertaining toy.
I want to have fun with people like me,I want to meet a guy like me,I want to meet a guy who's attractive,extremely clever,silent and I want him to have an evil mind and eyes who hide mystery.Oh of course that's just the personality stuff,but if we talk about different stuff,he must have long hair.
I want to never say "sorry",I want to be hard to impress.
But what am I?A person who tries to be good to everyone and make them all feel good and what do they do then?They catch "the stupid one" and start being mean.They want mean?I'll show them some mean ass!
I'm no more what I was.Oh and I hate that I listen to shit music ! Where's the metalhead I used to be?Ohhhh I'm just the shadow of who I used to be.
No moreee...